A guest contribution by Luisa Henze
Sexuality as a mirror of the soul
When we begin to consciously deal with our sexuality, we suddenly find that our sexuality is a mirror of our soul. She is a mirror because we can see inner blocks, wounds and patterns in her.
For example, if we reject ourselves, we will have a hard time finding ourselves desirable and attractive during sex. We then keep looking for confirmation and make ourselves dependent on the outside by chasing the illusion that the hole in the heart, which was caused by the lack of self-acceptance, can be filled from the outside. Then you quickly fall into a pattern of demands and create a give-take imbalance on the relationship level. In order to break this again, it is important to look at where the source of the self-rejection started and to heal it from there.
Our sexuality is a way of even recognizing these wounds in the first place. It's like a little experimental space where we can understand, explore and heal things about ourselves. From there, the successes can then be transferred to all other areas of life. Because our sexuality is so closely linked to our own self-worth, we also have great healing potential here to truly learn and integrate self-love in all areas.
How we treat ourselves and our bodies during sex shows what value we ascribe to ourselves and how we behave towards ourselves: for example, to what extent we treat ourselves with self-acceptance and self-love and whether we protect our own needs and boundaries and these too communicate. It also shows us how we deal with others in emotional and physical connection and if something is blocked on the attachment and relationship level. These blockages can have arisen in current or past painful relationships, but they can also have shaped us from the beginning in our family of origin:
For example, if we had very needy, sick or overwhelmed parents as children, we may have learned to take a back seat so as not to be an even greater burden to our parents. We were, after all, dependent on them for sustenance and had to develop certain strategies to survive while still receiving love and attention. We then integrated beliefs like "I have to hold myself back so that I don't become a burden." And as a result, probably the even deeper belief "I have to sacrifice myself to be loved."
This shows up in sexuality to the extent that the closer the relationship becomes and the more it resembles the love one has for one's parents, one withdraws more and more. Possibly you don't even feel your own needs during sex, because you have developed a yes-man mentality, which has for years ensured in all areas of life that you no longer really perceive your needs and consequently exceed your own limits. This can be fine for a while, but the body is our best friend and in one way or another will eventually start sending you signals to change direction. A signal is often that we lose the desire for sex or even get pain from penetrative sex. Even if it seems like something that is against us at first, it is the body's cry for help to finally initiate a change so that we can become happier again.
And this is where cacao comes into play: cacao helps us to regain access to our buried needs, because in its raw form the plant has a heart-opening effect and strengthens the connection to our own intuition. If we learn to feel what our heart longs for through the cacao, establishes the connection to our throat chakra to communicate what we need and activates our sacral chakra (womb, also called sexual chakra) to implement this, then we can do a lot experience more fulfilling and authentic sexuality that will have a positive impact on all areas of life.
What does sexual energy actually mean?
The term comes from spirituality and is therefore often and quickly labeled. Sexual energy is the form of energy that makes us vibrate the highest and lets us get in touch with something the most.
We are all made up of atoms, like everything else in this universe. This is something that has been scientifically proven. The atoms of each object vibrate in a different way. The atoms of a human vibrate differently than those of a table. And the atoms in us can also vibrate differently, depending on our state of consciousness and emotional state. When we're sad or angry, our atoms vibrate differently than when we're happy. When our atoms vibrate with our sexual energy, we reach our greatest potential. An uncanny creative power is then triggered in us. A creative power that was previously only used consciously to procreate, i.e. to create new life and bring it into the world. But it has always been the source for driving change and further development, because it is also the key to our creativity and our elemental power. Even today we can use our sexual energy for our projects and create something that our heart longs for. Here, too, cacao can help wonderfully, because it helps you to find the way to your authentic self and to find the direction that suits your personal path.
In addition, the Sexual Energy still allows us to get into a state where we can feel very connected to something. In sex, for example, it is our sexual partner. Here we can vibrate with each other through our sexual energy so much that the feeling arises of merging with each other. The so-called flow. If we no longer have access to this sexual energy or if it is blocked, we often feel ineffective and lonely.
Cacao can be used as a medicinal plant to recognize these blockages, to release them again and to resonate with the person or project with which we would like to "vibrate" in a flow.
Get back to "feeling" with cacao
You can use cacao for your sexuality in a variety of ways in everyday life. I often use cacao with my clients when they are feeling very far from their lust. Above all, it's about getting back to "feeling", because in stressful everyday life we are much too much in our heads instead of in our bodies and then the desire seems incredibly far away. In the cacao ceremony, we first ensure that our nervous system is regulated in order to get into a relaxed state. With the help of the cacao, we then stimulate our mouth area, which has a similar number of sensory cells as our genitals. Via our mouth, e.g. B. in which we take in food, we feel pleasure quite naturally. We make use of this in the cacao ceremony to bring ourselves to an unintentional feeling of pleasure and from there to explore the whole body. We find and break blockages that previously prevented us from connecting with ourselves and our sexual energy in order to finally feel free and complete with our bodies again.
In addition to such events or workshops, you can of course also let the cacao flow into your sexuality at home. As a kind of foreplay, the cacao can help you get in touch with your intention of why you want to have sex right now, making it easier for you to say what you need right now. Because far too often we resist saying what would lead us to a more authentic sexuality because we don't dare to say what our hearts long for or because we just can't grasp it. The cacao helps you to communicate to your sexual partner what you need and thus leads you away from the eternal guesswork about what the other person might like, towards a fulfilled sexuality, which in you is a "full-body -Yes" triggers. In addition, the cacao ensures that there is more space for emotional intimacy, which intensifies the feeling of connection during sex.
Of course, sexuality is something very complex, because it depends on our characteristics, inclinations, preferences, relationship phases, phases of life, etc. Cacao cannot always solve what we cannot let go of in our heads. For these cases I also offer individual accompaniment and use the conversational, physical and energetic level. If you would like to find out more, you are welcome to contact me at any time via my website www.thesexuallovecoach.de or via my email firstname.lastname@example.org to arrange a free initial consultation.
Luisa Henze studied psychology, then trained as a sex coach and today, as a Sexual Love Coach, helps people to rebuild a loving relationship with their own body, their own sexuality and other people.
She is committed to more self-love, self-confidence and self-determination in sexuality in order to reconnect people (of all genders) more closely with their bodies, their lust and their sexual energy, to break down bond blockages so that they can make healing connections again and women to help bring more routine and development into female masturbation.